the lost man chronicles

The 411: age matters—youth invigors as much as it withers

this morning i came to realize one of my greatest motivations—youth.

for much of what i vie for, much of who i am and who i am becoming is piqued by this slippery grasp on the vim and vigor of youth and the associated bliss of naïveté. and in a way, practically everything i do has to do with this obsession with the elusive eternal.

hence, following are those things which are because of this increasingly futile venture, those things which continue to give me hope amidst the daunting gravity of age.

i tell the truth often, as long as it is to my advantage. for i am no more conniving than most others, simply more aware and thus more precise with my beguiling deliberations.

i am unconventional, thus do not often abide by the rules, because i’ve learned that only fools never realize that in the end you must make your own.

i don’t smoke—unless it enhances my ability to blather profoundly, gather fleeting thoughts as they attempt to flee, and ultimately, be gut-wrenchingly funny.

i love fearlessly.

i laugh, unconscious of those around me.

i have fun—can be silly and capricious and frolic creatively; seeking every opportunity to be original when it comes to coveted moments of spontaneous play.

i revel in the day, and take solace in the night; i delight in every awe-filed minute of life.

i often rely on intuition to make good decisions, knowing it is more often too late to make them great with the belated facts.

i don’t watch sports, i play them.

i skip dinner on occasion.

i write, i read, i bleed my self-consciousness on paper.

i taper my emotions whenever they seem to be gnawing at the best of me—denying avarice, anger, jealousy, and greed the opportunity to usurp my serenity and composure.

i like to experiment—experiencing, deciphering, coming to comprehend things for myself.

i love to learn new words—and use them immediately.

i like to meet new people and learn to love their charming penchants and eccentricities.

i belie innocuously, exaggerate extemporaneously, am not afraid to amuse, and revel in the sanity of what so many others deem insane—this being the fool’s claim to wisdom.

i am conscious of my looks—there is a mirror in my bathroom and i am not ashamed to look into it. for looks do count a lot, even if they may amount to very little. you may possess the agility to dig deeper and postpone your assessments, but half the world never bothers lifting or prodding or questioning what lies beneath the sheen.

i dream—more importantly, i enact. i realize and have made many of my aspirations true.

i am a shameless satyr, epicurean and aesthete; my hedonism being repletely amoral, entertains pleasure guilt free; disciplined, i abscond greed, gluttony and all the vices of excess (except loquacity, obviously).

i am extremely efficient when it comes to my own fickle agenda, and infamously reckless when it comes to expending time and effort to attending to that of others. in other words, i’m often late.

i like to wait and watch the sun rise.

i often compromise, knowing that simply taking action can make things better.

i like to employ finesse, elegance, grace and eloquence with all i say and do, well knowing more often i don’t.

i am my greatest amusement—often self deprecating in light of consistently realizing how ghastly mediocre and average and common i am; taking solace in the awareness which allows me to occasionally supercede these shortcomings.

i understand there are no absolutes, but feel i have experienced moments of perfection, especially when in love.

i don't take things too seriously (especially people), for it is the secret to a happier life.

i accept that sometimes the wisdom of my musings last a year and a day, sometimes merely through the month of May, facilely serving a bout of Spring spontaneity; at other times, i know, they will last longer than life itself.

i know not to assess people so immediately, because we are all as wonderful as the multi-splendored facets of love. life is best lived, when we overlook the worst and focus on those parts that gleam most brilliantly.

i expect little, so that i might be blissful when others exceed my expectations.

it’s taken me 35 years, but i’ve also learned that at last i don’t need to eat everything on my plate—in fact, i even once only ate half a low-fat muffin, and had the courage to discard the rest.

i’ve learned that the greater test of love is truly and simply—time.

i enjoy the company of wit, banter and irony.

i don’t like ironing.

i do like carrot juice though.

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