the lost man chronicles
book two: the art of love
the answer lies within (Her)
Eureka, an epiphany! (surprise, surprise)
Upon reading how psychologist Viktor Frankl approached the case of the despondent doctor who had lost his wife, I realized a better approach to this affectionate life—to the discovery, the catalyst, and the predilection toward love—ask the right questions (duh).
Over and over again I've learned and relearned this same guiding principle—it's not always about what YOU know, its more often about what you want to know about Her.
"You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years of trying to get other people interested in you."
~ How to Win Friends and Influence People, Dale Carnegie
Every ego wants to be of interest, everyone likes to be heard, and every lonely soul ultimately wants to know that she is someone else's object of love and indefatigable desire.
This is why we must ask. The compulsion is often to offer, to give and suggest. Yet, both in times of leisure and during moments of supplicating sympathy and unpleasant stress, sometimes it is best to just listen. Which is why knowing the right questions is so vital, for they often are the stepping stones path toward this sublime connection to recovery and bliss.
Perhaps then, this is also the essence of the methodology underlying most forms of successful psychotherapy. For it is best not to provide ready-made wisdom, but rather better to guide the subject toward the right answers that already lie within.
Moreover, this is why questions are not only key to healing and revealing the beauty of others, but also why we must consistently inquire of ourselves. For introspection is just as quintessential to happiness as is getting to know and love another.
Half-jokingly I'll dare add, this is why women are inclined to be such great psychotherapists when it comes to understanding men and resolving their concerns. The only problem is that the inquisition tends to be had for the wrong reasons!
"Some of the people who nowadays call on a psychiatrist would have seen a pastor, priest or rabbi in former days. Now they often refuse to be handed over to a clergyman and instead confront the doctor with questions such as, 'What is the meaning of my life?'"
~ Man's Search for Meaning, Viktor Frankl
the art of living the list