all of us are Sybil.
at least once a day each of us exhibits a split personality when what we posture differs from what lurks inside.
on the outside we are agreeable, "polite," and smiling. internally we might be thinking "when is she going to stop talking?," "this guy's an idiot," "do i really have to be here?"
perhaps, "once a day" than is being too gracious.
granted, my argument sounds quite cynical and seems to misconstrue our copasetic natures into something more akin to duplicitous, deceptive, or dishonest. alas, this theory does not surmise that the world is so intrinsically misaligned and maladjusted.
rather, it simply accepts that there is an inherent conflict between our individual needs and social obligations, one which we experience everyday.
for some, this creates internal dissonance which leads to either cognitive dysfunction or hypocrisy.
much of the time, it is a matter of harmless and fleeting delusion, denial or inconsistency.
either way, most often it simply inculcates disharmony within the individual whose acts do not correlate with her thoughts.
much of the time it is a result of the variety of people we casually engage on a daily basis. each time we are with someone new or some recombination of acquaintances we adjust our personalities unconsciously, so that we deliver different messages depending on the person, quite often ending up in the grey matter of our dynamic predilections.
strangely enough, many people are alarmed when they notice this utterly natural inclination that we all have to contradict ourselves. although it should seem obvious that nothing human is ever purely black or white, most of us find it easier to compromise the truth and accept lies which categorize or limit our ever-changing existence.
that's why when upon a rare occasion you find yourself with someone who brings out "the best in you," (that which does not contradict itself because she encourages the display of all your colors), that you are blissful. it is then that you may experience a beautiful synchronization between all of you and you and you, the amalgamation of the soul, the somatic self and the unruly intuition; it is when your senses, your thoughts, your actions and reactions all interplay with one another as if they were one.
as a result, what you think and feel immediately manifest themselves in action that is vibrant and real. your mind, body, and spirit are one in her presence. nothing you say, you think or you do is superfluous, for when they move together they do not pause, hesitate or question their movement. the interaction between you and her and you and you becomes a dance of minute gestures—words for words, movements for motion, gasps for groans, exhales exchanged for deep breaths and resonating whispers, a profound feeling of being that ensures that not one part of you has wandered elsewhere.
the art of love
l.m