the lost man chronicles
book two: the art of love
the lost angel chronicles: someone who (the words my hands bleed)
someone who understands all this. someone not who i can have three-hour conversations with, holed up alone in a telo, high and drunk and dizzy, (dizzy) if only simply because i am with her. someone who inspires me. someone who is willing to conspire. someone who i inspire. someone who desires me, and who i desire wantonly in return. someone whom i can make love with and not ever have to argue with over the gritty issues of life. someone i am not obligated to, but with whom, i know i am blessed all the same, nonetheless, without blame. someone who is willing to confess all the shame that i find lucent and beautiful. someone who understands my genius and is there to give reason for its being. someone who i am seeing irregularly, and when i don't see her i long and pine and yearn for desperately. someone to walk with me leisurely in the snow and with whom my tiny heart grows three times its normal size. someone whose kiss is a sign from above that love need not be institutionalized, pacified or doomed forever. someone who is clever and keen and all that a few mean martinis in her absence make her well worth gloating over. someone who rarely, if ever, i have to see the good, bad and ugly of, if only because our love shines light on all that is great. someone who knows that fate is a matter of grabbing destiny by the hand and leading her where she would otherwise never dare go. someone whom i can show the sincerest, brightest, most brilliant and purest sides of me. someone who knows me inside and out. someone who knows what great sex is all about. someone who has no past to cling to and thus can exceed all expectations with me. someone who i know i can love tough and tender and render lodes of the smallest gifts for inhibitedly. someone for whom i can be a whore and a saint and a man and a magi, as well as a magician. someone who uses all the power of her intuition to love me back. someone with whom i can explore all that we ignore daily. someone who is not afraid of having epiphanies. someone who doesn't give a fuck about shopping at macy's, target or tifanny's. someone who simply wants to be—if only with me. someone who i can forget because i need not worry about forgetting. someone who is always whetting my appetite for more. someone who is courageous enuf to say fuck it! to all the tidy constructs of thinking that are impressed upon us, erroneously moving us to doubt and distrust our intuitions and abandoned inhibitions and all that certain love shows us to be true. someone who, someone who, someone who! knows what repeating myself means and all it gleans about passion. someone with whom i can fashion my very own traditions and rituals of sedition and rites of transition into becoming us. someone who i can trust with a secret shared solely by two. someone who i cannot compare because she is magnificently incomparable. someone who i make feel safe with lust and love endangered. someone who doesn't have to know everything because what she already knows is quite enuf. someone who is willing to dance with me one step at a time. someone who whose smile is sublime and witty and willing and wise. someone who cannot compromise the solitude, which allows her to meet me in the middle. someone who is willing to save me, salvage all my dreams, redeem and uplift my esteem if only for these moments. someone who will be my hero, my muse, my inspiration and my provocation. someone who lets me feel all i've been missing. someone who whose kissing steals me away. someone whose allure and appeal always makes me want to linger, stay—l o n g e r. someone whose fingers are not afraid to trace love and grace and salvation upon me. someone who sees me as her saving grace. someone whose face i find enchanting against any light. someone who whose flight away from me makes me want to chase after her. someone whose laughter is endearing and indicative of the fun only we can share. someone who cares to be with me and when she is—she is (only with me). someone who sees that we are all lonely, but with each other we need not be alone. someone who will always, inevitably go off on her own and never need promise her return. someone who burns her memories so deep into me that i am doomed to always love each moment profoundly in return. someone who i can call anything my whim desires. someone whose appreciation of my words never tires. someone who will be my fire, my southerly wind, and moist earth. someone who is willing to give birth to all the children of my creativity. someone who is willing to shamelessly, unregretfully, wholeheartedly be part of me, as much as i am willing to sacrifice to be one with her. someone who can be a little girl with me as much as she will always be a woman. someone who embraces silence and then delightfully chases it away with her blabbering soul. someone who would never allow me to take control of her, if only because she knows i would never want to. someone whose soul is my tonto, my lone ranger and my trusty steed. someone who knows that these words bleed for her. someone who is not afraid of the mystery unfolding. someone who can lie to me about her coming of age glory, knowing i am willing to wait to uncover what the true story later; someone who is not mainly a recounting of her life gone by, but someone who i will also come to know as my future. someone to be my teacher, as well as my lover and best friend. someone who realizes how important it is for me to write (to her) until the end. someone to lend me her smile when i need it for a day. someone who is okay with all the forbidden hours. someone who towers above me with pride. someone who doesn't care that i don't bring her flowers because she knows i grow gardens for her with my words. someone who understands a man who loves too much for his own good. someone who would love a man who claims he is lost and risks losing himself inside of her. someone who promises me even if she knows i don't believe in promisin'. someone who doesn't think about all the things others fear, but just is glad to be with me here. someone who is just glad to be. someone who at times doesn't bother to see beyond these four walls and the universe which awaits inside of us.
the art of living the art of love