the lost man chronicles
97. i am a fugitive
from all the social circles that had me spinning senselessly into isolation. imprisoned in this solitary confinement of the mind, i was once inclined to die the slow death of boredom and obligation. bereft of the sensations that organically create the self, i had become another mediocre man off-the-shelf made ready-to-order (about) and consume and resume the same provincial life his parents had unwittingly fallen into.
i felt alone, but now on my own, i no longer feel lonely. for i have learned to be free, if only, in the feral fields of my imagination, and i have learned to open up all of my self to all the revelations of life that surround us.
of course, people still matter, and they get the toast of my attention, but i have also risen above convention and this normal existence to enable my self to explore all that i've been missing whilst lost amidst the civilized confections and token affectations of society."Society is a republic. When an individual endeavors to lift himself above his fellows, he is dragged down by the mass, either by means of ridicule or of calumny. No one shall
be more virtuous or more intellectually gifted than others. Whoever, by the irresistible force of genius, rises above the common herd is certain to be ostracized by society, which will pursue him with such merciless derision and detraction that at last he will be compelled to retreat into the solitude of his thoughts."
~ Heinrich Heine
the end is not so horrible .96 98. wandering toward awe