Cien Vacas

Milkin' Manhattan

Published in the July 31st, 2000 Edition of NYL's InsideCI

If you happen to work at New York Life like me, Amoozon Rain Forest and Blue Moo may be familiar to you even if you do not recognize their names. They’re the two cows currently residing at 41 Madison Avenue on the corner of 26th Street directly across from the New York Life Building. Approximately 500 of their brethren (and sisters) have been put out to pasture throughout New York City, including all five boroughs. Designed by local artists and sponsored by NY businesses, the multi-colored cows are created based on themes reflecting local culture and have respectively playful names like Moo York City, Mooving On Up, Cow-moo-ter, Hot Dog Stand Cow, Cash Cow, Technicolor Dreamcow and Mooodama Butter-fly.

Part of the New York CowParade 2000, the summer long event has its origins in a place known for its cheese and dairy products, Switzerland. It originated to serve as both an unusual art exhibit to showcase the local arts community and drive business to their downtown retailers. The Summer of 1998 saw 400 cows and by the end of the year there were 800 in the City of Zurich.

A year later the event was adopted in the states by the home of the NBA’s Chicago Bulls. Local business retailer Peter Hanig was enamored by the Swiss version while on vacation and worked with the City of Chicago to adopt the concept in his hometown. The results were notable and the Mayor's Office proclaimed the unique exhibition of 340 cows to be the "largest and most successful event in the history of Chicago."

New York’s own parade officially began June 15th and runs through September 4th. Although scattered throughout the City, most of the bovine reside in Manhattan and are placed in groups at key locations such as Columbus Circle (5), Grand Army Plaza at the Southeast corner of Central Park (8), the Central Park Zoo (9), Rockefeller Center (8), Bryant Park (11), South Street Seaport (18) and Helmsley Way, the center of operations for the production housing over 70 cows on display inside and serving as the the warehouse where cows are built, stored and repaired.

The official CowParade web site is located at http://www.cowparadenewyork.com. Along with pictures of each cow, the site hosts a map locating each bovine, and a word document listing each cow’s name, artist, sponsor and exact location. Moreover, there is information on the other CowParades being held this summer in Stamford, Connecticut (67 cows) and West Orange, New Jersey (28 cows).


BIG on samples and happy hour buffets, periodically declares he's giving up on cheese (might as well call him "anti-American" i know), LOVES his wife (remember, "wife" spelled backwards is "efiw"), is certain his son is destined to be known as "Enzo the Great," appreciates his "parents" more each day (in-laws included), still dislikes cats, greatest fear is mediocrity, has resigned himself to blatant self-promotion (hey! i amuse me), defies popularity by defining himself, and wants (would like) you to pay him lots (market-value) of money for his work.


....more on "Papa" Lorenzo

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A moooving

Cien Vacas

No More Cheese Please

Enzo's Ode to the Woes of Parent Pleasing

Suddenly I have no appetite for milk and cheese,
I find myself awaking, screaming “Papa, no more cows please!”
It’s true—now I only dream in black and white
Each time I see a cow now, my fists arise, ready to fight

You see my poor ol’ father, good intentioned one
Roused me early Saturday morning exclaiming —
“Wake up! Wake up! We’re gonna have fun son!”
Little did I know, how many horns and tails and hides awaited me
Udder-ly hundreds, for we were going on a CowXpedition you see

But I’ll tell ya, more than one cow is quite enough
After number 101 you can get pretty sick of this stuff
By noon I was tired of “What’s this? What’s this?”
But seeing that Papa’s eyes were full of bliss
I put my thoughts of steer boredom aside
Making sure signs of bovine blasé I did hide
Keeping “Those are horns Papa, those are horns…” all to myself
For sometimes some things are better kept on the shelf

We took pictures with bovine beauties galore
like Cowgirl, Moo-ma and Moo-Stripa the
Let’s just say her sweetmeats were hanging, they were a bit loose
She had glands the size of my head and boy, what a caboose!
But before I mutter anything more, I’ll admit I had some fun
Riding the School Cow and posing with Hooters in the sun
I moooved on to sMOOch at Central Park
Kissing Karma Cow on Helmsley Walk shortly before dark.
Even took bulls like Divine Bovine and Holy Cow!
By the horns in one hand and Miss Swiss Wine by the udder,
Ooops! Please, oh please, just don’t tell my Mutter!
She thinks I still play in the sand, when I prefer the gutter

But I’ll tell ya….

Before Sunday, a cow was something savory to eat
But by Monday, I wasn’t sure I even liked meat
I used to have my New York cut—Grade A— raw, red and bloody rare!
But now, a well-done soy-bean-earth-dirt burger is ‘bout all I can bare
Mommy, you’re right, I like my veggies green, yellow…
Now I’ll even eat them snow white!
But just keep Papa-carnivore away from me,
Please tell him no beef for me tonight.

And let my tell ya another thing…

I’m boycotting Boyden, Dairy Farmers and Land O’Lakes alike
I’ll take on the Swiss head-to-head and organize a Kraft strike
You won’t hear me asking “Got Milk?” that’s for sure
‘Cause I’m seeking to start the Hundred Bottles of Milk War!

‘Course there’s an exception better—than the kind sucked of leather-bovine
It’s my mama’s leche, that sweet mother’s milk-ambrosia divine

You see, reading Emerson, Thoureau, and Whitman never appealed to me
I rather thumb Chandler, Wolfe and William S. Burroughs preferably
In fact, I yearn to simply sit on the subway and take in the grime
I long for the grit of the City and applaud our high-crime

It’s all so simple, here I’ll explain…

Nature seems so silly when I can play in the soot
I grow stronger playing in the streets,
with each piece of glass stuck in my foot

No, you can take your green grass and vast fields away from me
The sticky tar and monkey bars are more amusing you see
I’m not a country boy, this for certain I know
Not too comfortable with the sickle, a plow or a hoe
But give me a bat or a stick and I’ll play ball wit’ ya Yo!

Born in the City, I’m bad and I’m Brooklyn bred
I wake myself up by putting a bat to my head
“Go Yankees! Go Mets! Giants rule! The Rangers are duh best!”
Give me Ebbet’s Field and Yankee Stadium, you can have the rest
Hell, I’ll take the streets of Manhattan over greener pastures any day,
Throw in Sheep’s Meadow to the Great Lawn and I’m happy I’d say

‘Cause Nature Boy—“Fuhgettaboutit!”
As my crazy Papa would most likely relay
I’m a New Yorker you see, so get outta my way
‘Nough of the musings, let’s look at them pictures today
Just click below, come ride the rodeo with me
I’ll show you the biggest teats this side of the Mississippi!

THE PICTURES: Sneak Preview

Cien Vacas,
A Moooving Photomentary
of Enzo's CowXpedition

Take me to the top!

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Lorenzo D. Domínguez.
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