Erich Fromm writes "human relations are essentially those of alienated automations, each basing her security on staying close to the herd, and not being different in thought, feeling or action."
each new human relation i have seems to echo Fromm's cynical summary. in the beginning, we begin believing we can escape and truly be ourselves within the lovely grasp of another, without having to appease or depend on others for guidance.
alas, lo and behold, a mere fraction of the self then triggers a return to the fray amongst the masses. which is not to say that certain feelings are invalid, one has to live amongst the crowd after all. but when your severance is a kiss which is a touch of blissful possibility, which you both know is indicative of greater things, you have to question why the separation stings (so much) and whether or not we are listening to ourselves or ultimately to others.
and one should always remember, it is the opinion of others which often prevents us from having the purest experiences of personal happiness.
to do that you truly must be strong enough to be different in thought, feeling and action. otherwise, you are doomed to follow and fall into the fray, the melee of the unhappy masses.
ultimately, one's claim to non-conformity means nothing unless it is enacted. otherwise, all cognitive gestures are empty and meaningless.
"the situation as far as love is concerned corresponds, as it has to by necessity, to this social character of modern man. automations cannot love; they can exchange their 'personality packages' and hope for a fair bargain." ~ Erich Fromm
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l.m